September 26, 2006 Column: A little Phillies, a liitle NASCAR, and a lot of Football

The Phillies lost a doozy last night, falling into a wild card tie with the Dodgers. Both teams have 6 games to play, all on the road, and since San Diego evidently never loses any more, it seems as though these two are fighting for one playoff spot. Evidently, Nomar Garciaparra recently called Kurt Warner to ask him how to contact the devil in order to arrange for selling his soul. Two walk off home runs in a week later, he is going to hell. Look for the Phils to ride the pitching of Myers and Super Cole to get this done….

Speaking of selling his soul to the Devils, Jeff Burton won his first Nascar race in almost 200 starts at Dover Sunday and now leads the points chase with 8 races to go. This guy was more washed up than someone with bad diarrhea and is now in a position to win the Championship? This would be the equivalent of Al Unser, Jr. taking a break from beating up his hooker girlfriend and winning the Indy 500. I think this proves that teams with lots of teams (i.e., Roush) cannot adequately support all of them, and that Nascar should limit owners to three teams. But enough about racing, let’s get to football…

Let’s start with Tampa Bay and Chris Simms. Some people, including me, have long questioned Simms toughness in addition to his effectiveness. You can still potentially question the latter, but Simms proved himself tough as nails this week. He got hit harder that an all-you-can-eat buffet featuring Jack Daniels on tap with Artie Lange in attendance. Despite rupturing his spleen, which as has been well documented was later removed, Simms stayed in the game and almost led his team to their first win of the year. I still think it would be a better story if Major Applewhite were replacing Simms in the lineup instead of Bruce Gradkowski (how big of a slap is this to Tim Rattay, who is basically told “You suck bad” with this move?). Hopefully Simms recovers quickly so we can see if he has the ability to go with the toughness.

As I said last week on the George Rogers Show (are you listening? www.georgerogersradio.com), the Saints/Falcons game was a rare NFL contest in which emotion helped decide the outcome. I thought Jim Mora made a fatal strategic decision from which he never recovered. When the Falcons won the toss, they chose to receive, at which time they failed to make a first down and then had a punt blocked for a touchdown. When you no emotion will be sky high, and you want to get through the first few minutes, why in the world would you not choose to go on defense and give the Saints a long field to start? 7-0 Saints. Game over. By the way, can we stop hearing the stories of how Michael Vick has evolved? He is, at very best, an average quarterback who can run the ball, but not hit the side of a barn from 20 yards more than 6 out of 10 times. It does not help him that he has receivers with hands like Roberto Duran. This offense will struggle all year once teams see the blueprint for stopping them: contain the run game with 8 guys in the box and shadows on Vick, and let your secondary play man to man on the poor Falcons receivers.

Jeremy Shockey told anyone who would listen after the Giant debacle at Seattle that they got outcoached. It looks like Tom Coughlin, who is notorious for wearing thin on a team after a couple years with his dictator-like style, is doing it again. The Giants are clearly in a danger spot. They need to get on a roll after their bye week this week or Coughlin runs the risk of losing his team, and subsequently his job. This team has a ton of talent, but barring a horrid collapse by the Eagles, they should be 0-3 right now and have not looked good for most of the season. If there is such thing as a must win for a team that is 1-2, then Week 5’s game against Washington, who they should throttle at home, is just that.

The Eagles looked strong as expected against an improving but not quite there yet 49er squad. The thing that should worry Eagle fans is that injuries really seem to be catching up with this team. Players are dropping faster that Michael Spinks did against Mike Tyson. And who even knew Donte Stallworth was hurt? If I knew that, I would have started Reggie Brown on my fantasy team. The Eagles should move to 3-1 next week when Brett Favre comes to town with his 400 TDs and 500 INTs.

Speaking of Favre, he has actually looked pretty good the last two weeks. But how bad are the Motor City Kitties? How does Matt Millen have a job? He may well be the worst General Manager in the history of organized sports. This team is terrible. They draft players in the first round who never make an impact. No matter who coaches them (Mariucci, Mornhinweg, Marinelli), they lose and look bad doing it. Maybe a coach/GM combo whose names start with something other than M. And the Fords thought he had big problems with his car company…..and, yes, I am bitter since I had a complete brain fart and somehow picked this team in the Win or Die.

Speaking of coaches in the state of Michigan that are losers, John L. Smith (as I think I stated in this blog earlier this season), is simply the worst football coach in American not coaching at Duke or North Carolina. This guy’s team tried their best to give away a game to Notre Dame last year. This year, their motto was try, try again. And they did. An unbelievable collapse, losing a huge lead in half a quarter. Maybe he was auditioning for the Eagles in case Andy Reid gets hit by a bus. (Speaking of Andy, you do not see him doing any weight loss commercials this year!)

Sorry for the diversion to college, back to the NFL. It looks to me like Bill Belichick’s and Robert Kraft’s collective arrogance have caught up with them. This team has let enough veterans go in the past few years that they could start their own VFW. And the cupboard is bare. Tom Brady is playing with a bunch of second rate players, and his frustration is showing through loud and clear. He has always been poised, but now hangs his head, yells at the officials, yells at his teammates, and in general looks extremely unhappy with the hand he has been dealt. This team is not very good, and this promises to be a very long year for Brady. Look for him to explode by about the 8th or 9th week of the season.

On the flip side, I believe the AFC East is being led by the J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS. Kudos to Mr. Stitzer’s squad. Pennington, who has always been underrated and underappreciated around the league, is playing great, and they have won two road games. If they could somehow split (a long shot) against the Colts and Jags the next two weeks, this team can win this WEAK division.

That’s all for now. Enjoy the Wild Card battle in the NL this week….