October 17, 2006 Column: Steve Lyons gets Screwed, The Cubs Do All Baseball Fans a Favor, Whoa are the Cardinals, a Wally Pipp Sighting, & More...

Programming note: Stitzer's season-ending Yankee summary column is coming soon, REALLY. Probably in the next 24 hours, certainly the next 48....I think....

Yankee fans and Phillie fans are battling it out to see who can get to a lower low. While the latter have been heard saying that Cory Lidle should have flown with Bobby Abreu because it has been proven that Abreu would never run into a wall, Yankee fans responded by saying that If A-Rod would have been on the plane with Lidle, it would not have crashed because A-Rod can’t hit anything in October…

Speaking of baseball, does anyone else think we are being overly sensitive these days? Steve Lyons got fired for what? Did anyone think his comments were racially motivated? Did anyone even know Lou Pinella was Hispanic? I think Fox overreacted on this one big time….

Speaking of Pinella, the best news about the Cubs hiring him is that we will not have to listen to him on baseball telecasts any more. He is just a brutal announcer. AND NO, THAT IS NOT A RACIAL COMMENT. He would suck whether he was white, black, orange, or green. Seriously, he’s Hispanic?

Today is a day in which we should all be happy that the Arizona Cardinals have no real fans. I watched that game and felt supremely depressed for the Cardinals. They forced six turnovers, gave up no touchdowns to the Bears offense, held a 20 point lead with 16 minutes to play, and still lost. I have the Bears defense on my fantasy football team, and even I was wholeheartedly rooting against this. I have witnessed many a collapse by the Philadelphia teams, most recently the Eagles 17-point 4th quarter debacle against the Giants, and I do not think any were as bad as this one. Did anyone that was watching the game think Rackers had any chance to make that field goal to pull it out for Arizona. You knew that thing was not going through the uprights. I could not sleep for 90 minutes after the game ended I was so upset by the course of events….and I could not care less about the Cardinals. If that had been the Eagles, I do not think I could make it into work until the following week. Horrible. This may set up to be the Raiders one win of the year when they play the Cards next week, as I am not sure how a team with this history can bounce back six days later. I did like Dennis Green’s tirade after the game. At least it shows he cares.

On the flip side, Tampa Bay got their first win of the season at home upsetting the Bengals (who are perilously close to being referred to as the Bungles again), led by rookie quarterback Bruce Gradkowski, yet another NFL QB from the MAC conference. Does anyone else get the feel after watching Gradkowski for a couple weeks that Chris Simms may never get the starting job back in Tampa. This strikes me as a very similar situation to what Simms endured in college, where he had lots more talent than Major Applewhite, but Major did a better job of leading the team and winning ball games. If you could combine Chris Simms talent with Phil Simms leadership and heart, you would have a Hall of Famer. Somehow, that grit and leadership did not translate. I look forward to see how old Gradkowski does against a blitzing Eagles team this week…

As far as the Eagles go, this was a bad loss. I know they were coming off a big win and a letdown was so likely I would not even pick the Birds in my Friday pick column. I know the Saints are 5-1 and not a bad team. But the bottom line is that when you come back from 14 down to take a 7 point 4th quarter lead, and have all the momentum, you have to win that game. Period. You cannot let Michael Lewis guard Joe Horn. I should make a joke about Michael Lewis having less ability to cover than a stripper, but I will let it go…You cannot have 12 men on the field on the biggest play of the game and give the other team two chances. You cannot let the other team use the last 8.5 minutes of the game. You cannot burn timeouts so you have none left. Super Bowl teams win these games. The Eagles routinely lose them. What does that tell you?

Larry Coker, head coach of the Miami Hurricanes, should be fired immediately and never coach another college football game. Not only has Miami lost its dominant winning ways that Butch Davis rediscovered in the 90’s, but, more importantly, Coker has allowed the program to slide back to its roots of thuggery, as anyone who saw Saturday’s ugly fight can attest to. The kid that used his helmet as a weapon should go to jail for assault, and the kid who was kicking and spiking the other team should not only go to jail, but be ridiculed for fighting like a girl. (Speaking of which, did you see Larry Johnson tackle Troy Polomalu by the hair on Sunday?)…. And how about their announcer, ex-player Lamar Thomas, basically calling out the other team and wanting to get into the fracas himself. You know you are a scumbag when the always clean-cut and angelic Michael Irvin calls for you to get fired. Yes, classy program. Just as pathetic Miami’s behavior is the fact that Duke football, despite playing at home against Miami this week when Miami has 13 suspended players, is still an 18.5 point underdog against the Canes. Embarrassing.

Speaking of Duke, is there anyone in America after watching the 60 minutes segment two days ago that really believes these three Duke lacrosse players committed rape. As I said initially in my April 17th post on this blog, Mike Nifong should be disbarred and forced to resign, and the stripper/liar who made this stuff up should be the one to be thrown in jail for a very long time. Too many lives have been damaged and too many taxpayer dollars spent on these trumped up charges.

While we are on Duke, the Devils hoops team suffered a huge blow in its second practice of the year when Greg Paulus, the point guard, broke his foot and is out in definitely. More than any other player including Josh McRoberts, Paulus is irreplaceable as they have no other point guard on the roster. The hope is they get him back for the December 21st game in the garden against Gonzaga, but it is way too early to tell….