D-Day is Here: Lou Israel's Take on Baseball and Steroids...AND NEW: THE LIST

Lou Israel, a consistent participant in my pools (you know him as Mike Vick's alter ego, Ron Mexico) is jumping into the blog with his first contribution to the Musings. He is up-in-arms over how baseball has handled the steroids investigation. His premise is that baseball should stop focusing on the past and set their sights on how to improve the game in the future. It should start some good conversation on this , the day the the vaunted Mitchell Report is delivered to MLB at 2:00 pm today (please feel free to use the comment section to get the discussion going). We have not seen this much excitement about a report since the Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice Crop Report was delivered by one Clarence Beaks, may he rest in peace. Ladies and gentlemen, Louis Israel.....

Note (11:54): Here is the list of names that the Mitchell Report will identify later today:
Brady Anderson, Manny Alexander, Rick Ankiel, Jeff Bagwell, Barry Bonds, Aaron Boone, Rafaeil Bettancourt, Bret Boone, Milton Bradley, David Bell, Dante Bichette, Albert Belle, Paul Byrd, Wil Cordero, Ken Caminiti, Mike Cameron, Ramon Castro, Jose and Ozzie Canseco, Roger Clemens, Paxton Crawford, Wilson Delgado, Lenn y Dykstra, Johnny Damon, Carl Everett, Kyle Farnsoworth, Ryan Franklin, Troy Glaus, Rich Garces, Jason Grimsley, Troy Glaus, Juan Gonzalez, Eric Gagne, Nomar Garciaparra, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons, Juan Gonzalez, Clay Hensley, Jerry Hairston, Felix Heredia, Jr., Darren Holmes, Wally Joyner, Darryl Kile, Matt Lawton, Raul Mondesi, Mark McGwire, Guillermo Mota, Robert Machado, Damian Moss, Abraham Nunez, Trot Nixon, Jose Offerman, Andy Pettitte, Mark Prior, Neifi Perez, Rafael Palmiero, Albert Pujols, Brian Roberts, Juan Rincon, John Rocker, Pudge Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Scott Sc hoenweiis, David Segui, Alex Sanchez, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Julian Tavarez, Fernando Tatis, Maurice Vaughn, Jason Varitek, Ismael Valdez, Matt Williams and Kerry Wood.
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There are a number of old white men who are convinced that they love baseball and understand it more than anyone else. Like the rest of us, they dream of being a part of the game, but since they are in power they've found a way to do it without any talent for playing, and without buying a ticket. Yes, they get sport so much more than the rest of us. They understand it on a higher level. That's why only they can understand the logic of running an inquisition and then asking for signatures from the subjects. And not the type of signatures you put on a legal document. They want the signatures on photos and cards, the kind from a hero that you frame and ebay or give to your son to mount on the wall.

That's ok though because as long as they're there, we're assured we have just what we need in sport. Lawyers. Teams of lawyers with impeccable records, a billion dollars of schooling, and oh, season tickets, because they love the game. Yes, it is everything that baseball needs.

I am not a fool and neither are most fans when it comes to the subject of their sport. We had a steroid era. I don't know how this is possible, but somehow my perspective is reported to be the bizarre and rare one. See, I'm not mortified that the players were on steroids, I just enjoy watching the game (so unsophisticated, I know). But even if it upset you, oh loyal fan, and I do understand that position- we know it now. Start testing and the steroid era will end. Just another era, another chapter of America's pastime. Brand the Barry ball, fine. Mark the record books with notations of a steroid era, fine. That is all that is needed. A government body coming to punish and 'out' is not a hero. The knowledge is out there, punishment is not the answer. But without it, how can our respected lawyers, our betters, brag about being a baseball.hero? Can't tell war stories of a 9th inning homer, so tell stories of a 9 hour interrogation. If you can't play it, litigate it. It has nothing to do with them. Leave Barry alone, leave the rest of them alone. It is not the government's business. These are not reasons to go to jail. These are not reasons to be publicly shamed in front of a nation. Just let the game recover.

So congratulations to the team of lawyers and the 8 digit paycheck we cut for them. They were able to use their Ivy League educations and their multimillion dollar laboratories to outwit some tobacco chewing jocks who took drugs so they could play better. Huzzah. The legal team can raise their glasses high tonight as they tuck into 100 dollar steaks that you and I paid for, all the while really believing they did something other than embarass and maybe jail a few dozen famous players who would stop anyway if and when all that needed to be done is done; that is a real testing system gets set up. With this way though, maybe some more money can be funnelled into Cooperstown for a Baseball's Greatest Lawyers wing.

I just hope they're careful at the champagne toast tonight. If there is any justice a waiter or bartender who is a fan of the game just might serve up a special dose of Dom Perignon bruised with the tainted urine so the boys could give the analysis which they deemed so important. But this analysis could not be done by a machine. No, as they swish the piss around their golden tongues and whitened teeth, the flavor and character could be tasted in human detail. Something like, pretentious, not very amusing, and with a long lingering and bitter aftertaste.