The Price is Right? Ted's Take on Soccer and the World Cup. Ole!

My brother-in-law is back. First hockey. Then the IRL. Now he tackles soccer-mania. Enjoy...
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When I read Brian "Man on the Street" Dilsheimer's statement that he wanted the World Cup to be over so he didn't have to pretend to be interested in it, I knew I had to respond. If I don't champion the fringe sports (NHL, IRL, soccer), then who will? And with the US out of it, this task becomes even more daunting.

Simply put, the World Cup is fun. It's fun to watch nation against nation. It's fun to listen to the ceaseless chanting and singing from the fans. And sometimes it's even fun to watch the players flop around on the filed like they just got shot by a sniper in the stands (more on that in a moment).

The Wold Cup is one of the only tournaments where the winner can legitimately call themselves "world champions." I get a kick when the Super Bowl winner is referred to as champions of the world. Now, I'm not saying the Pittsburgh Steelers couldn't beat the Frankfurt Galaxy, but c'mon. On their way to winning the Super Bowl this year, the Steelers beat Indianapolis, Denver and Seattle. They beat different time zones, not the world.

It's the only time where fans can say "we" when referring to their team and mean it. You may be a huge fan of the Philadelphia Eagles or Denver Nuggets, but there is no "we" when the team wins. Your birth is your association - your team is your country.

And that is where the real fanaticism comes from. For many countries, the rivalry and resentment goes beyond the pitch. The Germans love to mock Poland. The English mock the Germans, and everyone mocks the French. In fact, this year FIFA - the governing body - told the fans that World War-related chants were not acceptable. One of England's favorite cheers against Germany is to yell, "if you won the war, stand up." And that's how they start the wave!

And the singing! Tens of thousands of people singing their national anthems or some other songs - for the entire match! If you've watched any game at all this tournament, you can hear just how loud the stadium can get for both teams. And it never stops, no one sits down, and all of this comes without the aid of a jumbotron, an obnoxious PA announcer or blaring rock music. If you were one of those athletes, wouldn't that keep you geeked up for the entire 90 minutes?

I know I am going to catch some flack for this next statement, but I think these players are the most fit athletes in the world for any sport. The clock never stops, there are no time-outs, it's just running, almost non-stop for two, 45-minute halves. Many of the matches so far in this year's World Cup have come down to the last minutes. I think as many as 6 matches have had the game-deciding goal scored in the last 10 minutes of play. This is all about conditioning - can you run the other team down until they get tired and you take advantage of it?

Then there is the argument that there is not enough scoring. I am not sure I have ever understood that one. Most baseball fans can appreciate a 1-0 game knowing what it took to get that one run and keep the other team from crossing the plate. To put it another way,
a 3-2 soccer score is the same as 21-14 in football. One of the most exciting matches in the first round was Trinidad-Tobago vs. Switzerland. The game ended in a 0-0 tie, but watching the T&T goalie stand on his head stopping shot after shot was amazing - even more amazing knowing he was the back-up goalie pressed into service right before the match started!
Just like any other sport, when you watch the elite teams play, you gain a better appreciation for the game. Watch the finesse of the Brazilians, the relentless attacking of the Germans and the swarming defense of the Italians, and you begin to understand why they call it "the beautiful game."

Now for the flopping. I think this is the biggest reason why the sport hasn't caught on as much in the US. When you are used to seeing football and hockey players smash each other (albeit with padding), or baseball players colliding at the plate or hard fouls in basketball, it's tough to take a sport seriously when you breathe on a player and he goes flying 45 feet clutching his leg like someone pulled a Theisman on him. And the Italians - for all their world class play - are the masters of the flop (as evidenced in the US game). But the games are officiated as arbitrarily as an NBA game. FIFA claims they are clamping down, and there have been some fouls for diving, but it's nowhere near where it needs to be. A friend of mine was saying they need to adopt the same criteria as the NHL (imagine the NHL being a model for anything!). In hockey, you are not going to draw the penalty for hooking or interference if you stop skating. It should be the same in soccer - keep your feet moving. The player needs to do everything they can to play through the trip, the hold, etc. If he still goes down, it's a foul. If they stop and drop, a dive is called. It's still the ref's discretion, but it should keep the game moving. I still don't understand the mentality. Sure you are trying to draw the foul, but while you are rolling around on the grass, your team is a man down.

OK, so the US is now out of it thanks to a less-than-inspired performance in two of the three games. It's pretty disappointing - there was a lot of hype going into this World Cup thanks to our (see, I said "our") performance in 2002. Now there is just bitter disappointment. Which I think is a good thing. It means people care and they are expecting better. Say what you want about the officiating (bad calls against Italy, a bad penalty kick against Ghana), but the fact is, the US played below itself. They made the Czech Republic look much better than they actually were, they played a spirited game against Italy, but they played with no purpose or desperation against Ghana. Players were out of position, getting pushed around by the other teams and generally getting out-worked and out-hussled.

So what do we do? First move: replace head coach Bruce Arena. He has done more for US soccer than anyone before him, but I think this performance shows, the team is not responding to him anymore. His calling-out players by name during the press conference after the Czech game did not do much to inspire Sam's Army to rally behind him. Too many questions about the starting lineups and too much second-guessing about player positioning and strategy. There was no fire and worst of all, there was no leadership on the field. No player said, "get on my back and I will take you to the next round."

The US needs an impact player. Someone who can score almost at will and changes the way the other team plays when he has the ball. We also need to play more European teams on their soil in the lead up to the tournament. You can only do so much against teams from the
Caribbean and Central America. And we need to act like we belong.
The mentality must change. We may not be part of the elite teams, but we've come a long way since our showings in '90, '94 and '98.

We may never get to the point in this country where the World Cup takes precedence over all else, causes a cease-fire in the middle of a civil war (Ivory Coast), or is the reason for national holidays on game days. But people are starting to care - mostly because the US is starting to become a force on the world stage (we love our winners - right Dream Team?). Do yourself a favor, find an ethnic pub in your town where the ex-pats go to watch the games (English pub, Italian cafes, etc), and get caught-up in the excitement, sing the songs and appreciate the beautiful game.

Insane Grizzly Men and White Sox Managers, Boxing Rule Amendment, and other Exciting Tidbits

Today, we achieved on this blog what real blogs can do in one day: we had our 10,000th visitor! At this pace, we shuold be one of the top read blogs on the Internet within the next 800 years....

I saw the movie Grizzly Man last night. It is a documentary that follows the life and ultimate death of Timothy Treadwell, who spent 13 straight summers in the Alaskan Wilderness living with the grizzly bears, one of whom ultimately decided to eat him for lunch. I highly recommend this movie, but not for the reason that the director or Treadwell himself would prefer. Yes, there are a lot of beautiful shots of the scenery. Yes, there is a vaguely interesting storyline. But ultimately what makes this movie thoroughly enjoyable is the fact that Treadwell, as the sports guy Bill Simmons of espn.com would say, ranks as just about a perfect score on the unintentional comedy scale. This guy is so utterly and completely insane that he makes Ozzie Guillen look normal and well adjusted. Trust me, take my recommendation and rent this one, especially if you will be drinking while watching the movie. Classic stuff.

Speaking of Ozzie Guillen, now that Timothy Treadwell is no longer with us, he has to be the biggest lunatic left on the planet. After the debacle of how he handled his pitcher not following instructions and hitting an opposing player as retaliation (he sent the kid back to the Minors), he called Jay Mariotti a piece of s^&*, a f@!#!#@ fag. Then tried to say he did not mean what we mean in America, that there is a different connotation in Venezuela, and that he is pro-gay, and planning to go both to the Madonna concert and the gay games later this summer. Are you kidding me? There is debate over whether this guy should be suspended. I think the debate should be over he should be institutionalized. He is nuttier than a peanut bar. Ozzie, once again, let me repeat the advice I gave you last week: When you get an urge to speak, DON'T! Just keep quiet and manage your team. This cannot end well.

If you live in the Philly area, I suggest going to see Edwin McCain in concert next week. He is playing next Wednesday, June 28th, at World Café Live, at 7:30 pm. For more information on the venue, or to buy tickets, go to: http://www.worldcafelive.com/. Edwin always puts on a great show, will have the full band for this show, and the venue is a great place to watch a performance (and the food is pretty good too).

I am going through sports withdrawal all of a sudden. We went from deciding game in the Stanley Cup Playoffs Monday, the deciding game in the NBA Finals Tuesday, to a bad Phillies performance Wednesday, to the U.S. trying to stay alive in the World Cup on Thursday. If there is a better example of a bad trend line, I have not seen it. By Saturday I fully expect to be a watching a badminton / dominos doubleheader on espn.

Winky Wright and Jermaine Taylor, two of the best fighters in the world, fought to a draw last week. This is not acceptable. I propose a new boxing rule: if, after 12 rounds, the fight is scored a draw, they clear the ring out, keep the gloves on , and they fight one additional five minute round. Winner take all. Think of how exciting that would be. I think it could increase boxing's popularity, and eliminate some of the cloud hanging over questionable draw decisions. Hopefully Don King is a reader of this blog. If not, can someone forward the idea to him?

If you did not receive my radio appearances for the last two weeks via email and you are interested in hearing me, just email me (brian@dilsheimer.com) and I will send you the clips.

Note: Picture Courtesy of www.grizzlypeople.com

20 Years Ago Today.....

More important than sergeant Pepper Teaching the Band to Play...

Len Bias died. I was fortunate enough to see Lenny Bias play in person once. As a senior (I was a Freshman), he brought his Maryland team into Cameron Indoor Stadium, and proceeded to score 41 points (Duke still one, 75-67 as I recall) in one of the greatest individual performances I have ever seen. He is one of the two best college basketball players that I have seen in my lifetime (along with Johnny Dawkins, who also played in that game).

It is my opinion, and I know I am not the only one to think this, that Lenny Bias would have gone down as one of the Top 10 players ever to play the game, if not the best. That's right, he may have been the best ever. He may even have been able to help the NBA avoid some of the things I hate about it; that is how magical this guy was as a player.

Bias had been picked two days earlier by the Celtics with the second pick in the draft. Most people do not remember, but I will never forget, the 76ers pulled off two draft day trades that day, the summary of which was Jeff Ruland (who played a total of 5 games for the 76ers) and Roy Hinson for the 1st pick in the draft, which the 76ers owned, and with which Cleveland used to take Brad Daugherty. I cannot help but wonder if the 76ers used that 1st pick and took Bias, is it possible that he would have been in Philly that night instead of at home ingesting the cocaine that killed him? Of course, we will never know, although just the thought does show you how every seemingly unrelated decision can affect your life in a major, monumental way.

The clip below, which my buddy Kalinock, a huge Maryland fan, sent me several months back, shows a montage of Lenny's life and untimely death. For those who saw him play, it will remind you of the magic that was Len Bias. For those who were too young to remember, this video will not do much to show the magic of how great he truly was, but is worth watching anyway, for the dunks over North Carolina alone!

Continue to rest in Peace Len.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsE0Th50SII

A couple other notes:

• I will be on the radio again tomorrow at some point during the 7:00 am et hour. Sorry for the lack of specifics. Anyway, if you want to try to listen live, here is the link: http://www.wccpfm.com/; if you want to catch the replay, we are still working no figuring out how to get the clips up on the blog (and still trying to get last week's up!). The best way to catch it is to tune in live.
• The NBA game was actually exciting last night. I even tuned in after Entourage to catch the end of the game. However, one of the biggest problem for the league is that they start their games so late, that nobody can stay up until the end on the East Coast. I fell asleep and missed a good ending. How do you bring the casual fan in and make them a bigger fan?
• The U.S. Open was riveting yesterday. It was heartbreaking for Mickelson. I do not even particularly like Lefty, and I felt horrible watching him implode on 18.

Pat Burrell, U.S. Open, Ozzie Guillen, and Other Friday Odds & Ends

If Pat Burrell of the Phillies could play every game of his career against the Mets, he would live up to the hype of being the #1 pick in the baseball draft, which, despite not many people remembering, he was. He has 35 home runs in his career against the Mets, more than double what he has against almost any other team (he has 19 against the Nationals). Of course, despite Burrell’s two home-runs yesterday, the Philberts came up small again, losnig for the third straight time to the Mets (yes, at home), and dropping 10 games behind New York in the loss column. At least now we can shift our attention to the annual flirting with the wild card, for which the Phils will undoubtedly come up just short yet again. For while Houston went out and paid zillions to get Roger Clemens, the Phillies continue to pay peanuts to find lemons. At least the Jolly Chollie Manual era likely only has 96 more games…..

The U.S. Open teed off yesterday with a couple interesting story lines. Tiger proved that it does not matter who you are, you can not take nine weeks off from tournament golf and expect to come back and compete in the Open, with its notorious narrow fairways, brutal rough, and glass table greens. The best story though could be that old, washed up, Pillsbury Dough Boy Colin “Monty” Montgomery is all by himself in the lead. There has never been a golfer given a tougher time by Americans everywhere than Monty. He is like the Barry Bonds of golf, but without the home crowds in the Bay Area. Hearing Monty at the top of the leaderboard reminds me of the classiest move in golf that got little pub. He was playing match play in the Ryder Cup against the late Payne Stewart, and he was just getting vilified by the fans. Anyway, when the U.S. locked up the trophy, Stewart conceded a long putt to Monty that gave him the match. Just a class act. Anyway, I hope Monty sticks around this weekend. It would be a fun story to follow. Imagine if Monty and Mickelson played in the final pairing Sunday. They could compete in golf or at a competitive eating table. I would not want to be Kobayashi trying to grab that last hot dog from those two guys…..

Ozzie Guillen proved last year that he knows how to manage a baseball team. He also gave inklings last year, and has proved beyond the shadow of a doubt in the past 48 hours, that he is completely and utterly insane. First he orders his pitcher to drill Hank Blalock (isn’t that supposed to be implied?). Then, he goes beserk when his pitcher takes two shots at it but misses, and gets the guy to ground out. Then, he send the guy back to the Minors the next day. Then he publicly calls out his own guy (Pierzinski) by saying if he got hit, he would fight. How can Major League Baseball not suspend this guy for a long time the next time his team a) gets into a bench clearing brawl, or b) intentionally hits a batter. I am not a lawyer, but even I could get a conviction there. As I said, Ozzie is a good manager, but there is no way he will last five more years in the league. The equivalent in the real world would be if Dick Cheney, after shooting that dude in the face, said something to the effect of “I told the guy that I wanted to shoot that quail, and if he took a shot at it, he would pay….dearly.” Ozzie, my advice to you: shut you pie hole, don’t talk to the press, and just manage your team.

Wasn’t it interesting that in the biggest must win of the NBA finals (the NBA had to figure Miami would come out and get game 3 at home), Dick Bavetta was the choice to ref. And Miami had a blow out win. Does Stern bring him back in game 7 if it goes that far? Sure beats handing the trophy to Cuban, from his perspective.

If the U.S. loses to Italy in the World Cup tomorrow, wouldn’t that be doing us a favor, in that we could go back to ignoring soccer and pretending it doesn’t exist if you are older than 15.

Doesn’t it drive you nuts when they suspend a starting pitcher for five games? Isn’t this the equivalent of just moving their start back a day? If they want them to miss a start, wouldn’t a nine or 10 game suspension be more appropriate? What’s that? Bud Selig is the Commissioner of baseball? Ahhhhh. Never mind, it all makes perfect sense.

Isn’t it time for the charges in the Duke Lacrosse case to be dropped? Enough wasting taxpayers’ money. Enough wasting time on Sportscenter. Enough giving innocent kids bad press. Nifong, you jackass, spend you time figuring out what crimes the alleged victim has committed and why you are so freaking stupid with a) believing any of this and b) trying the case in the press when that is an ethical violation.

On that note, have a great weekend. Happy Father’s Day to those to whom it applies.

Note: picture courtesy of www.colinmontgomerie.com

The Stanley Cup Finals. I Love This Game.

The Stanley Cup Playoffs, and Finals in particular, are simply tremendous to watch. Even if you are not a fan of the participating teams, or a huge hockey fan, you cannot help but get caught up in the excitement. Game 5 of the finals between Edmonton and Carolina represented all that is good in sports. Here are some examples:

• Hockey players are tougher than overcooked cow tongue. If Ben Roethlisberger were a hockey player, he would have walked away from his motorcycle accident this week. If Chuck Norris played a sport, it would be hockey. You get my point. That truism was on vivid display last night. Aaron Ward of the Hurricanes left the ice with what seemed like a fairly serious upper body injury, only to return a period later and ignite his team with his toughness. Doug Weight left with a nasty shoulder injury (I would guess separated shoulder), and he also was back on the bench ready to rumble, only to be held back by his coach.
• This game featured just non-stop end to end action. Add to that the fact that once we hit the third period and the score was tied, it became fairly evident that any goal would be the game winner, whether it came in regulation or overtime. These guys went all out knowing that any mistake could either decide the series or potentially send it to a 6th and maybe a 7th game. I am not a fan of either team, and I found myself unable to flip the channel because I did not want to miss a thing. It had the intensity of Jack Bauer going after a bunch of bad guys. Great stuff.
• One of the main themes of the Finals has been that Edmonton has not been able to score on the power play (1-for-25 going into the game) while Carolina has been unstoppable (5 goals in 4 games going into last night). That theme continued, as Edmonton went something like 1-for-8 with the extra man while Carolina scored all their goals on the power play. So when Carolina went on the power play in overtime, how could anybody believe that the series would survive the next two minutes. Devastating to Edmonton, right? Wrong. Edmonton then proceeded to intercept a pass and score, winning the game in the blink of an eye (that is why you can’t change channels!). Now they go back home for Game 6, and who knows…..
• I cannot write about hockey without mentioning Chris Pronger. This dude might be in better shape than Lance Armstrong during his heyday. I mean, every game, he plays 20% more than any other player on any other team, and has played over 50% of the ice time in the playoffs. That is unheard of. Last night he played over 33 minutes of hockey (8 minutes more than any other player on either team), scored two assists, and in general kept his team alive. He plays at even strength, plays the point on the power play, and plays shorthanded. You get the feeling that he is as important to his team as any other player is to his team in any sport, including hockey goalies, quarterbacks, pitchers, Dwyane Wade, anyone. He represents all that is good about sports…..

I am still rooting for Carolina to win the Cup, so my man Brind A’Mour (and other ex-Flyers Recchi and Justin Williams) can drink from it, but I am officially rooting for Edmonton to win Game 6 so we can see two more awesome games, and have the whole enchilada come down to 60 minutes of breathless hockey….unless, of course, 60 is not enough and we get some overtime.

Note: picture courtesy of nhl.com

Redick, Roethlisberger, and Rithmetic: Don't Drink & Drive, Unless You Are Not Wearing a Helmet

One note on my radio appearance: it did get recorded, just having technical problems getting it in my hands. Will try to have it up by today or tomorrow…..now onto today's post:

J.J. Say it ain't so.

J.J. Redick made a stupid mistake Monday night. Plain and simple. From a personal standpoint, when you are within two weeks of a day that will set you up financially for life, you cannot do anything that could potentially jeopardize that payday and your career. Plain and simple. No excuses. In addition, J.J. is the most recognizable Duke athlete there is (even though, at this point, he is technically a Duke graduate and no longer a Duke athlete). Because of some "potentially" lying bitch who is making up stories about Duke athletes, Duke, always the picture of pristine, finds itself with a somewhat tarnished image. This image is not helped when your most recognizable athlete gets a DWI. All that being said, I am hopeful this will not ruin Redick's stock in the draft. He has never had any problems, and one example of blowing a 0.11 should not scare a team away. Now if it were a Tar Heel doing the blowing (pun intended), that may be a different story….

Speaking of stupid mistakes, how dumb is Ben Roethlisberger? Did he not see what happened to Jayson Williams? Did he not read about Kellen Winslow costing himself millions by riding around on a motorcycle? Ben, at least if you are going to ride, wear a freaking hat. And a note to NFL General Managers: put a no-riding clause in every contract. Not just during the season, but all year long. You may as well protect yourself if your players are going to continue to be stupid when left to their own devices…

I am admitted NBA loather, but man, Dwayne Wade is just an awesome player. He single-handedly willed his team to win last night. If Shaq actually shows up in Game 4, Miami could still make this interesting…..

Good luck to Rod Brind A'Mour winning a well deserved Stanley Cup tonight!

Screech sighting....

Do you think it is a safe bet that Dustin Diamond's (Screech from Saved by the Bell) 15 minutes of fame are coming to a close based on the fact that he appeared on the Howard Stern show this morning hawking t-shirts to help save his house (he is broke), and simultaneously discussing his immense "manhood"?

I hope to have my radio appearance from this morning posted by the end of the day. Check back later to hear me talk about the Stanley Cup Finals, Ben Roethlisberger, and Jerry Rice vs. Randy Moss.

Next radio appearance scheduled for Tuesday at 8:10 am

I am scheduled for my second radio appearance tomorrow on WCCP FM "The Opening Drive" at about 8:10 am (Greenville/Spartanburg/Clemson, SC). Last week I was on for about 10 minutes. Here is the link: http://www.wccpfm.com/. I will try to post the appearance after the show on the blog, but that is 50/50, so if you want to be guaranteed to hear me, make sure to listen in just after 8:00 am tomorrow, Tuesday.

Uncle Mo & the NHL, Cole Hamels, and the NBA Finals

Momentum is a powerful thing. It is more powerful than Barry Bonds on steroids that he never knowingly took. It can singlehandedly decide games more decisively than even Cole Hamels (see below) can. If you don't believe me, just ask anyone (player, management, fan) that follows the Edmonton Oilers. This team stumbled into the playoffs as the last (#8) seed, and then proceeded to find Uncle Mo, and rode in his car all the way to the Stanley Cup finals. They did it behind the hot goaltending of Dwayne Roloson, the veteran leadership of Michael Peca and Chris Pronger, and the magic of momentum. Momentum is usually a bigger factor in college sports, where it can make Florida SEC and NCAA Champs in a season where they did little to distinguish themselves during the bulk of the season, but it clearly is a difference maker in the pros as well. On an aside, speaking of difference makers, is there any position in any sport even close to as important as goalie in hockey? Nope. Not quarterback, when Trent Dilfer can win a title. Not point guard. Not pitcher. Nothing. But I digress.....

Back to the Oilers. They had it all. On top of everything I said above, they dominated Carolina in Game 1 of the Cup Finals, leading 3-0 in Raleigh and in general looking like the Champions of the World. Then ex-Flyer Rod Brind A'Mour, who has nothing if not for the biggest heart in the game, cut it to 3-1 just before the second intermission. More important than the goal, Brind A'Mour did what great players do at great times, he stole Uncle Mo. Then they tied the game 3-3, Roloson got hurt, and the Oilers made one of the worst boneheaded plays of all-time, letting Brind A'Mour (who else?) score the game winner on a broken play. Game over. Series Over. Edmonton followed that devastating loss with a 5-0 clunker last night. Plain and simple, they are done. They had their shot, but once you let Uncle Mo get away, he does not come back. Just ask the USC Trojans, who let Uncle Mo and a 12-point lead slip away to Texas in the Rose Bowl this year. They had as much chance of stopping Vince Young on that fateful 4th down play as I do of getting hit on by Jessica Alba. In other words, not very good. Edmonton will be lucky to win one game back above the Canadian border, although I expect a sweep is likely at this point. Bottom line: if Uncle Mo and Tony Soprano are in a battle for "control of the family", I am not betting on the fat guy. I am betting on the phat guy! I am just glad Rod Brind A'Mour, one of my favorite Flyers of all-time, found him before it's too late. There is a guy who deserves his name on the best trophy in sports, and I will rejoice for him when that reality occurs in a few days.

Speaking of momentum, the big league career of Philadelphia hero and savior Cole Hamels certainly has it. Barring injuries, this kid is destined for greatness. His stuff is electric, his makeup is sound. Hopefully his body will cooperate, and he will avoid any more off field problems. This kid will be the best pitcher in Philly since Carlton; it will be awesome to have a top of the line starter for the first time since Schilling, and that will ultimately make Brett Myers the best #2 starter in the league. Who knows, maybe once the Philberts fire Jolly Chollie and send him to the Shopping Malls to play Santa Claus this off-seaosn, this team really can and should contend next year. Really. Hamels, Myers, Floyd, and Madson could be a nice staff. Ryan Howard and Chase Utley will be superstars. Jimmy Rollins is a great shortstop. All Hail, King Cole!!!

Oh, yeah, by the way, the NBA Finals start tonight. I will not be watching. But, all I hear is the Mavs are too fast, too big, too deep, too everyting for the Heat. I look at it this way. The Heat have Pat Riley, who has been there a lot longer than Avery Johnson. They have Dwayne Wade, one of the top 5 players in the league, who can match Dirk number for number. They have the Diesel, who smells the Championship, and mortal supremacy over one Kobe Bryant (and if you think that does not matter, you are crazy). He will turn it up about five notches for this series, getting that old body to respond one more time. And, thanks to David Stern, who cannot possibly let Mark Cuban win, they I am sure will have Dick Bavetta for a couple key games. Heat will win in 5 or 6.

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Quick Hits: Eric Gregg, Book Reviews, Sopranos, and Jerry Springer

• It is not looking good for former National League Umpire Eric Gregg. The 55-year old is in critical condition after a stroke, and the prognosis is not good. Probably more so than any other, Gregg is the umpire I best remember from my days growing up. He had tremendous energy about what he did for a job, and a smile almost as wide as his waistline. If he does not recover, the world will miss Eric Gregg.
• What do you think happens to somebody in their life to make them say: “I have got to be a guest on the Jerry Springer Show?” Shouldn’t there be a team of psychologists devoted to this phenomenon?
• The Sopranos capped off a disappointing season with a pretty boring season finale. I (after my wife planted the seed) was convinced they were going for a big season ending by knocking off Christopher, but, alas, nothing. At least show us Juliana Margulies’ boobs. Something.
• I just finished a couple of books, which were sent to me compliments of Andrew B. Stitzer (thank ya Nitz). First, I read One of a Kind, a book on the life of Stu Ungar, probably the greatest poker and gin rummy mind of all-time. If you enjoy character studies/biographies, and/or if you like Texas Hold ‘Em, this is a good, quick read. Second, I read Death Match, a book by Lincoln Child. This was my first read of Child, and overall, his writing is very strong. The story is great for the first 80% of the book, but I felt it came apart at the end. I would be willing to read another of his books in hopes that his story has a better ending, but I would not recommend this one for you (i.e., it is worth reading, but there is better stuff out there).
• Several people have told me that the NBA Playoffs this year disprove my theory that the NBA is not interesting and, in fact, boring. I agree that many of the games and series have been exciting. My problem with the league, however, transcends whether the games themselves are competitive. My problem lies in the product itself. I feel the game is not team oriented enough, there is not emotion (even in the playoffs), and that overall, the college game is just much more exciting. On a professional level, the NBA does not come close to the intensity or excitement level as the NFL (uh, sorry, the National Football League) or the NHL. Just one man’s opinion.

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Indy Stars from Last Weekend: Sam Hornish, Jr., Sean Parsons, Sr.

There was a monumental sporting event that took place in Indianapolis last weekend. No, it was not the Indianapolis 500, which featured 90 degree heat, Sam Hornish, Jr. scoring a miraculous win over the Andretti father and son team, and David Rumcorf coming through with much needed Dove Bars around lap 175. Instead, it was the Oaklandon, Indiana Little League Tournament, featuring some of the best 11-year old baseball players throughout the country, including Sean Parsons, my nephew, #5 on your scorecards but #1 in your hearts.

After qualifying for the tournament with a gutty win on Saturday (they came back from 6-1 down to win 11-6) featuring two line smashes by Sean, some tremendous pitching (3 scoreless innings) and a diving stop at second base on a line drive to end the ball game, Sean and his Indy Sox headed to the quarterfinals Sunday as a team just happy to be there.

Now I cannot talk much about Sunday’s game as a) I was drinking heavily, and b) was watching Sam Hornish and eating Dove Bars in the heat as described above. But I can tell you that the Indy Sox emerged victorious and advanced to the semifinals Monday where they would play mighty Edgewood, a team that had beat them by the “10 run” or “mercy” rule during qualifying.
Monday was witness to both the Semi-finals and finals. As the first game got underway, a throng of tens of thousands (okay, tens) fought for valuable spots where they could observe the ballgame. Edgewood was the heavy favorite, as indicated by their earlier slaughter of the Sox, their unblemished 4-0 record in this tournament (including qualifying) and the fact that their coach had all their players wear Cobra Kai uniforms and call him Sensai. But these Indy Sox were not intimidated. They chipped away with a run in the first and another in the second, and got great pitching from Patrick to give them a 2-0 lead after 2. Then in the third inning, the Edgewood coach did his best Billy Martin impression, all but kicking dirt on the umpire (who somehow did not throw him out of the game), and the Sox blew the game open, the rout was on. After 5.5 innings (the games go 6 innings), the Indy Sox had done what nobody thought possible, leading Edgewood 10-3. The coach then brought in the closer, you guessed it, #5 Sean Parsons. When Sean came in, single, steal, single, steal, single, run, steal, single, run, steal, three-run homer. Five batters into his stint, the score had gone from 10-3 to 10-8. But Sean Parsons rallied himself, and then retired the next three batters in order to secure the win and an appearance in the finals.

Onto the championship game, against the mighty 5-0 (in this tourney and qualifying) hometown Oaklandon Bombers, featuring a kid with an actual mohawk (weren’t those in vogue in about 1983?). Anyway, this game was a pleasure to watch. Old Patrick came in and matched zeros with #22, Oaklandon’s crafty lefthander, and the score was 0-0 after two innings. You know who scored the first run of the game, and ultimately the Sox stretched it to 4-1 after four innings. In the fifth, the coach brought in the closer, #5, and he gave up two tough runs, and then held them scoreless in the 6th for an unlikely Championship. That’s right, this group of unheralded, un-recruited kids went on and beat the two giants back to back, bringing home the hardware.



So when someone asks you who the little league stars of yesterday were in the year 2026, you can say Sean Burroughs, Chris Drury, Danny Altamonte, and yes, Sean Parsons! I can’t wait until Zack hits little league, that will be fun….