January 31, 2006 Column

• I am looking at getting the new Treo 700. If anyone has one of these, or a 650, and can give me a review, especially as it compares to a Blackberry, I would appreciate it….
• T.O. met with Mike Shanahan yesterday. Here would be my recommendation for any team wanting to sign the mercurial wideout: I would give him a one year deal worth about $6 million, which will probably be twice as much as anyone else will pay him. You know with T.O., you will get a monster year this year and he will be well behaved, as he is smart enough to know that he has to be on his best behavior, and talented enough to be the best receiver in the league. Then I would have an option that kicks in for a second year if he meets certain hurdles, both on and off the field for about $8 million. That will keep T.O. happy for the second year, when he would otherwise blow up like Young MC since the late 80s. If I can get two good year out of him, that is a home run. He will be 35 years old in 2008, so there probably will not be a lot of teams after him for big dollars at that point, so maybe you even get him to stay and play at that point, cause if there is anyone who will still be productive ion the field at 35, it will be T.O., who keeps himself in as good a shape as anyone. But I would not stop there. I would do all the little things to make him feel important. I would name him one of my team captains. I would put his picture on the ticket stubs. I would do a video tribute that prominently featured him to play at the games. I would basically proactively kiss his ass because that is what the vulnerable and insecure T.O. really wants and needs. I know there are a lot of people out there (Eagles fans, Stitzer) who think I am an idiot and that you should steer clear of this guy, but I disagree. After watching this soap opera for two years, I can say that T.O. is the best receiver in the league, and can be easily kept in check if he feels valued and important and respected. With the plan I have just outlined, you can have a happy TO for at least two years. I will tell you right now, if Denver signs T.O., and gives Jake Plummer some sort of lobotomy to make him forget he is Jake Plummer, they can win the Super Bowl.
• How is it that we are in year 2006 and the filibuster is still a viable political alternative? These politicians are such a joke. If you are a Democrat and you do not like the Republicans forwarding their agenda, I would say you have two alternatives: first, convince some of the republicans to vote with you on your issues. You are supposed to be smart guys, make a case for your viewpoint, and convince some of the other side to vote with you. Second, win more elections. If the Dems could have come up with just an average candidate for the White House, they could have beaten a very vulnerable, unpopular President. But whatever you do, do not waste the American people’s time or money with ridiculous filibusters. At least this should create good Saturday Night Live material.
• I watched about a quarter of the Duke/North Carolina Women’s game on Sunday night. I am not a huge fan of the women’s game, because in general I think the Men’s game is better to watch, with players who are more athletic and can do more things on the court. They are faster, stronger and in general make for more entertaining tv. It is not a sexist thing, it is just a personal preference (women on the other hand are more fundamentally sound and better pure shooters). My biggest takeaway from this game, besides the fact that it is never fun in any sport to lose a 16 point lead to the Tar Heels, was that UNC’s point guard, Ivory Latta, is the most exciting, best women’s player I have ever seen. She is lightning fast, and almost made the game worth watching. I would still probably not watch UNC again unless they were playing the Devils, but at least she made the experience enjoyable.
• Roger Federer is the most underrated athlete of the last 10 years. This guy is incredible. He lost a total of 4 matches all year last year (that is one match lost every three months), and has won over 50 straight matches on hard courts. He simply dominates this sport, it is just that nobody cares about the sport. In contrast to hoops, I would much prefer to watch women’s tennis, as the players all have nice legs and the sport is much more entertaining than the two-shot rallies that the men’s game is full of. Anyway, Federer won his 7^th grand slam last week, and look for him to win #8 at Wimbledon and #9 at the US Open. Just awesome to watch.
• Howard Stern has been on the air for his fourth full week now. My basic summary of his show is that it is not much different than his old show. There are some curse words now, but the thing the show is missing is the tension of not being allowed to say whatever they want. On the old show, Howard et al had to be more creative to figure out a way to communicate what they were talking about. If you liked the show before, you will still like it, and vice versa. It is definitely worth the $12.95 for Sirius whether you are a Stern fan or not. There is always on that will entertain you, no matter what your tastes. If you are a Stern fan, the guy you will really like also is Bubba the Love Sponge.
• In case you forgot, there is a football game today. Coverage still seems quiet and boring, with the big story yesterday that Seattle’s van or something got into an accident going about 8 mph. The fender barely had a scratch on it. This is a big story? I think I miss hearing about Jerome Bettis’ overrated Hall of Fame career ending in his home town of Detroit. Someone else who feels this is a boring game with not a lot to hype is Skip Bayless. Here is his take: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bayless/060130
• Kobe Bryant came out and said he is not chasing Wilt’s 100 point mark and is “a little embarrassed.” Are you kidding me? His guy is so disingenuous it makes me sick. One thing we know about Kobe is he loves to score on the court as much as he does off of it.
• Check back tomorrow for a preview of Duke/Boston College, maybe some political commentary (if I can stay awake or follow the State of the Union), and who knows what else….