Week 1 Column: The Bad, The Ugly, and Good Left Town

O.K. Let's see how week 1 in the NFL season shaped up for me. First of all, the Eagles. They marched into Lambeau Field against a Green Bay team that struggles offensively, makes too many mistakes and is adequate defensively. For a team like the Eagles that fancies itself as a Super Bowl contender, this is a game that you not only should win, you have to win. The Eagles lost. Not only did they lose, they put on the worst special teams performance since 1979 when punter Mike Michelle (anyone remember him???) actually whiffed on a punt, then had to become the field goal kicker in the playoffs against Atlanta and missed two chippies that would have advanced the Birds. Offensively, the Birds struggled mightily all day long. McNabb could not get the ball to his receivers, and they just looked like they were not in synch at all. Defensively, while they played great, they lost Lito Sheppard (AGAIN) for who knows how long. Not a good opener, and not a great indicator of things to come. Strike 1.

At least I had the win or die pool to look forward to. If the Eagles were going to struggle this year, I could always lost myself in the exciting chase for the biggest win or die pot ever, just over $50k. I took Jacksonville, knowing their ferocious defense in their home opener would dominate an offensively challenged Tennessee team. With Vince Young last December, the mighty, mighty Titans lost at Jacksonville 37-7. Slam Dunk. Well, 183, 521 Chris Brown rushing yards later (Chris Brown? Really?), Tennessee 13, Jacksonville 10. Win or Die over. Except administration duties. Strike 2.

Well, at least I can always turn to my abilities as a prognosticator. Last year on this very blog site, I was above 50% on both my college and NFL football picks. If I could not play in the pool any more, and my own football team looked like it might struggle this year, at least I could delight the throngs of readers with my ability to pick winners better than Ebert & Roper. 3-7 (and in real life 2-8 as I played Buffalo with the money line instead of taking the 3). OUCH! Strike 3.

O.K. I blame this on Roger Gooddell. It has to be somebody's fault.....

Well, where can I turn if not the NFL? Certainly not college football. My team, the powerful Duke Blue Devils, has the longest losing streak in the nation currently at 22 games, and, to make matters worse, Michigan is not even on the schedule to provide an easy W (Notre Dame is, but not til November!).

So the only place I can turn, is the place that has burned me so many times, your 2007 Philadelphia Phillies, the team that still believes it is awarded points for degree of difficulty and tried to blow an 8 run lead the other night after losing leads of 4, 4, 5 and 6 in the past 30 days. But, alas, I am out of options, and Pat Burrell continues to be the best player in the National League since the All Star Break (don't believe me, look it up!), and, somehow, despite a million lost opportunities, this team is only 1.5 games out of the Wild Card with 19 to play. So I am firmly on the bandwagon. Because I have no other place to stand. I know it will be bumpy but I am holding on with both hands. Phillies, if you are reading this, please do this. Get into the playoffs because you have not been there since 1993 and you are due. Get into the playoffs because if you don't, you have no chance to win the championship, and no Phildelphia team has won one since 1983. Get into the playoffs so that we can pay less attention to the Eagles until the ride ends (maybe they will find someone to field a punt by then!). Get into the playoffs so we can chant P-H-I-L-L-I-E-S at Eagles games (wouldn't that be a turn of events!). And get into the playoffs so that the whole country can see you display this heart you have shown us all season. 19 games. A little bit more smoke and mirrors. PLEASE!!!!!

A few other observations from Week 1 of the NFL season:

• Kevin Everett's horrific injury (thoughts and prayers...) Sunday capped a day in which it seems like more and more major injuries are happening. It is my guess that this trend will continue. Football players continue to get bigger and faster, and there is bound to be collateral damage as a result. The worst part is, I am not sure how the NFL can fix this...
• The Jets fans that booed Pennington as he limped off the field (or more accurately clapped that his backup Kellen Clemons was coming in) should be ashamed of themselves. This guy has given this franchise 110% from day 1, always getting every ounce of results from his limited (on a relative basis) talents. As Stitzer accurately noted, "the only time fans should boo an injured player is when that player is Michael Irvin."
• The Patriots looked as good as advertised, just wiping the JETS off the field. And I think the Jets are a solid NFL team. This Pats team will be tough to beat this year, but....
• The Colts made the statement "we are the defending champs, so don't go handing them the trophy quite yet." This team will be right there all year. And they will NEVER lose a game when their defense plays at any level approaching where they were Thursday night.
• The Chargers look like a team to be reckoned with as well. But they still have Norv Turner as their coach, and that spells golf in February, not football.
• Chad Johnson is on my fantasy team. His touchdown celebration last night was moronic. That being said, I hope to see a lot more of those this year....
• As bad as the Eagles were, I still make them the favorites in the NFC East. Dallas and New York gave up a combined 80 points to each other, and Washington I think we can all agree is not winning this division. And speaking of the Giants, are they really going to let that Jared Lorenzen start meaningful football games for them? He makes Jon Daly look like he is 145 pounds soaking wet.
• With the first pick in the 2008 NFL draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select....Brian Brohm, Quarterback, University of Louisville. The only question is who will coach Brohm on this Kansas City team.

I will leave you with Stitzer's commentary on the developing situation (do I need to credit Bill Pidto there?) between the Patriots and Jets in which the Pats allegedly stole the Jets signals using illegal videotaping equipment:

This is similar to the whole Steroids debacle in MLB. You still need to have talent to perform well. But how much does juicing help you? Does it make your muscles generate more bat speed? does it keep you in lineup when you might need day off or have to go on DL? Nobody knows. As for NE cheating, lets throw it right back in in the face of ESPN “national” homer Bill Simmons. Your team cheats, you are guilty before all facts are in. This is right up your alley, as you equated Steelers win over Bengals in 2005 playoffs as “this is your Tuck Rule game.” Because you just KNEW that KVO cheap shotted Palmer with intent. Do not mean to turn this into an anti-NE/Boston rant, but you guys deserve it - you stereotype all Yankee fans as pompous front-runners who always think their team will win because of the Franchise history, yet you myopic whiners do the exact same thing for the Celts and now the Pats. So you know what, your 3 measly rings, won by the supposed greatest QB of all-time by a freaking FG in each game are all tainted. You hypocrites have the audacity to despise Parcells while worshipping the adulterous Belichick, despite them BOTH walking out on an organization. And you are the same clowns who will show up in Canton in 12 years to watch Richard Seymour and his 40 tackles per year be inducted into the HOF, when Seymour could not hold Joe Klecko’s jockstrap. Basically, you guys are all sore winners, and I stand by my words. I will fight you all one by one - and bring your cheating cameramen to gain an edge because I will pummel you like Clark Gillies pummeled your wussy Bruins, mainly head goon Terry O’Reilly in the 1980 playoffs. And for good measure, when you bozos are trying win your next World Series in 2090, my Grandkids will lay a beating on your grandkids a la Gary Howatt on O'Reilly as coach Arbour wanted to keep Gillies on the ice instead of losing him to a game misconduct for a 3rd fight. And let me close this with the following: illegal camera or not, Pats whipped green & white ass all over field and outcome would not have changed - but it is now tainted due to your cheating, and to quote the great Henry Gondorf (insert Robert Shaw aka Quint accent) "not only is you a cheat, but you're a gutless cheat."